Va • gi • na |vəˈjīnə|
 (pl. vaginas or vaginae |-nē, -nī|)
The muscular tube leading from the external genitals to the cervix of the uterus in women and most female mammals.

It is not a bad word. It is a natural part of the anatomy of half the population of the world. Like “phalanges” and “sternum.” And “penis.”

Bad words are words like “ass,” “fuck,” “shit,” “cock” (and “motherfucker,” “piss,” and “tits,” according to George Carlin,) and maybe “bitch,” when used derisively.

Really bad words are words like “the N-word” and “the C-word” (and “the L-word.”) These are the ones that should get you barred from speaking on the floor of the Michigan legislature.

Not the word “vagina.”

Matt Bors is a genius. Click the image to check out some more of this stuff.

So I have a few things to say to those Michigan legislators who banned Rep. Lisa Brown (D-MI) from speaking on the floor for 2 days:

To the men: I realize you stopped wanting to hear about vaginas the second you popped out of one, but that doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t worry about them — all the time. Monthly, at least. It’s like asking a disabled person to stop taking wheelchairs so seriously. Or, (because having a vagina is far from a disability. If anything, my vagina makes me feel superior to others,) it would be akin to asking men to stop making such a big deal out of their penises – as if that could ever happen. It is ridiculous. This is a part of us. Literally attached, 100% of the time. We can’t just remove it whenever we want to so we can be free to sleep with anyone that comes along and seems willing — you know, like a man is.

So I’m glad that you guys don’t have the ability to get pregnant arbitrarily, but some of us do. Is this enough of a reason to be punished? Furthermore, if you’re not calling them “punishments,” per se, but rather “restrictions” for the sake of social morality, decency, and responsibility, (topics on which it is not your job to legislate,) then the same fetus-defending rules that apply to birth control, vaginas/uteruses, and abortions should apply to Viagra, penises, and vasectomies…

And if you have a problem with any of this, you’re probably just PMSing, so shut up, nag. This is how (even female) Republicans see women.

An idea that was in fact ignored entirely when Michigan Rep. Barb Byrum (D) brought it up, men even speaking over the top of her to keep her silent. Shame on her! Typical woman, speaking without being spoken to. In fact, similar things happen whenever female legislators propose this type of bill or amendment. It is the wonderful new Republican trend, along with “coming out of the closet” and “being a total dick.”

As for the women: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

I understand being pro-life, but don’t pretend anyone in this world is “pro-abortion.” Some of us happen to be “pro-choice,” but that’s because we believe in having the freedom to control one’s own body. And to Republican women, whom I assume appreciate small government and personal autonomy, that should make sense.

But, apparently I’m mistaken. Instead, this is what the world is becoming.

Legitimately elected individuals are denying other legitimately elected individuals their Constitutionally-guaranteed rights to free speech simply for using anatomical terminology and proposing measures in the interest of fairness.

This is a land where women fear the mention of the very thing that makes them women, where strict constructionists ignore the First Amendment, and where truly intelligent people still argue against the existence of gravity by pointing out how plants grow upwards.

God bless America.

Because I’m pretty sure we’re doing this for him.